Modern love is such an interesting concept- obviously the first thing to come to mind is the television show on Amazon Prime that’s recently risen to fame. The show is whimsical and depicts realistic stories in a fairytale manner, probably because that is how love makes us feel isn’t it.
Falling in love is an uncontrollable process, similar to being sick, and the concept that getting married and starting a family does not have to be based on economic calculations, but can be based on emotional or sexual desire is a new and modern idea.
As modern civilization became more complicated and diversified, it made room for romance and love to take centre stage. Distinct spheres for specific functional concerns began to emerge, encouraging modern science, a money-based economy, and a mass-mediated public sphere. Simultaneously, a distinct domain of privacy and intimacy arose. And romantic love was and continues to be an important element of it.
The chances and perils are far higher than they used to be now that love can bloom in its own realm. We demand more happiness, fulfilment, and purpose in our relationships and families than everywhere else. At the same time, these relationships are fragile and always bear the possibility of enveloping us in intensely emotional crises of which divorces and dysfunctional families are simply the prime examples. As time progressed, these emotional crises became as much a part of our modern society as financial crises are.
Back in the day marriage for love was seen as a distant dream that was nowhere near reality. Even if you were completely unhappy with that person, that was of secondary concern. It was all about the obligation and commitment that required you do stay together. More recently it’s about the emotional glue — as long as you’re getting something out of it, you’re willing to stay.
Portrayals of love in more recent movies and books leave us disillusioned and unsatisfied with our real-life relationships because they set the bar at unachievable imaginary levels and sell these fairytale novels to us as realistic and relatable portrayals of the life that we know. Although the marriage is no longer considered a milestone that sets the base for the rest of our future, marriage is still on the hierarchy of needs. Even though most of us think of marriage after building a career and lifelong friendships now, it’s still given importance. Life is still considered incomplete without a life partner to live it with, possibly even more so now- because of social media.