Christie Rose Francis, passed away on the morning of 20th April 2069 at 4:20am, the prostate cancer finally won. She said she’d die once she crossed 30. Told us all old age wasn’t for her. The last few times I met with her, she told me she decided to stay around for a little longer because she found that grey hair suited her complexion, and what a waste that would be if she were to have off-ed herself 40 years ago.

Chris had a sense of humour like no one I’d met before, she had a spectacular way of looking at her life. I mean, I wouldnt say she was good at planning it out considering she was homeless for almost a decade- but she was never dissatisfied, never regret the choices she made.

Obviously others were, her children in particular were quite dissatisfied with her choices since they grew up in foster homes for majority of their lives. They won’t be joining us tomorrow but I’m glad to say three out of five of Chris’ children have grown up surprisingly well, one could go as far as to say successfully. The other two are in jail, but they almost succeeded at robbing the Indian Government Mint so I wouldn’t say they are disappointments.

Chris was never good at relationships with people. She had short, fleeting relationships with many people- but she gave her 100% during those months. She made you feel like you were king of the world until she got tired and moved on. The only time I’ve seen Chris genuinely and constantly care for anything, is when she got Thangappan. For those of you that are unaware, Thangappan is Chris’ Great Dane. She always wanted a Great Dane, which is amusing because that means “Thangappan” was a deliberate name, something she came up with after years of thinking it over. But thats Chris for you, always so full of surprises.

Now, back to her sense of humour. Oh yes, Chris always had something up her sleeve. Of course, as is characteristic of Chris, she found a way to make “use” of her demise. When Chris was diagnosed with cancer she visited her lawyers and stated it in her will that all the money she had was to go to Elon Musk upon her death.

She confided in me later that she hoped Elon Musk would be eternally grateful and do something drastic like name the first planet he discovers after her. Why? Not because she wanted to live in peoples minds forever or anything of the sort, but because her ex-boyfriend was quite the fan of Elon Musk, and there could be nothing more irritating than seeing your idol thank your ex on international news.

I’ll miss Chris, I’m sure most of us will. The funeral service will be held this afternoon at 4:20pm at Cubbon Park Band Stand. Please come on time- the service will be short because the security comes around at around 4:52pm. We are aware that its quite rushed, but we couldn’t miss the opportunity to have her funeral on 4/20. There is food and drinks available near all gates of Cubbon Park, please don’t dress too formally- we don’t want to attract any attention to ourselves. BYOB.

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